Captain ThrowUp tells you a story
Hi.
My name is useless for you. So my age.
I'm still so young, I've got my hole life in front of me.
But still, everyday I take a shot of death.
Precisely when my selfhate grows up to gigantic hights.
So hi.
I'm Captain ThrowUp herself, and I've got Bulimia Nervosa.
I'm not ashamed over my body. Not anymoore...or....that was acctuly a lie.
I am ashamed, but...at least; not allways.
Not right now, for example.
Right now it's night, everything's black.
Like a big black blackout. If you look outside right now you won't see anything, and I mean it.
I like it here, where no one can see me, or my body. I can sit here, writing about myself, totaly naked.
Or....I've got a pair of men's underwear on, if that counts.
If you meet me some day, because I'm not hiding from anyone, you will be chocked.
You will tell me to stop writing, you will tell me that I', not fat at all, that I'm just childish.
*blip*
But you just don't understand, do you?
Do you understand how it feels inside of me when you tell me those lies?
It hurts, and it hurts a lot hearing lies.
My entire body is made of lies, and it hurts that you just can't stop lying about it eighter.
It's my body.
And Im sorry to say this, how childish it ever will sound, but I'll do anything to get it thin again.
Because you just don't know how it was, or how it are, being fat, do you?
Have you ever been fat? have you ever had a big, grumbly, pig-belly?
No, I don't think so.
And it's not babyfat God damnit, I'm to old for babyfat, I'm not stupid!
When I was a child I was made of bones and skin, I had like....non babyfat at all!
But then things happened, when I started to grow up. And I started to eat, and eat, and eat a lot.
I went fat, I wasn't born like this.
Okay, i can admit, I've lost like....two kilos since then, and I've grown 12½ centimeters.
But that does not make me skinny, or sexy, or beautiful.
No, that "babyfat" makes me cute.
So hello sunshine, you're fat, but cute.
Uh *gasp*, I've got to do something...
I want to go outside for a nice workout,
but I've got 37,5 in bodytemperature, so I don't know about that.
..Can you acctuly die of exercise? Or fever?
I hope not......
*fevercough*
Got to go, I'm throwing up blood now again, jikes maaan
My name is useless for you. So my age.
I'm still so young, I've got my hole life in front of me.
But still, everyday I take a shot of death.
Precisely when my selfhate grows up to gigantic hights.
So hi.
I'm Captain ThrowUp herself, and I've got Bulimia Nervosa.
I'm not ashamed over my body. Not anymoore...or....that was acctuly a lie.
I am ashamed, but...at least; not allways.
Not right now, for example.
Right now it's night, everything's black.
Like a big black blackout. If you look outside right now you won't see anything, and I mean it.
I like it here, where no one can see me, or my body. I can sit here, writing about myself, totaly naked.
Or....I've got a pair of men's underwear on, if that counts.
If you meet me some day, because I'm not hiding from anyone, you will be chocked.
You will tell me to stop writing, you will tell me that I', not fat at all, that I'm just childish.
*blip*
But you just don't understand, do you?
Do you understand how it feels inside of me when you tell me those lies?
It hurts, and it hurts a lot hearing lies.
My entire body is made of lies, and it hurts that you just can't stop lying about it eighter.
It's my body.
And Im sorry to say this, how childish it ever will sound, but I'll do anything to get it thin again.
Because you just don't know how it was, or how it are, being fat, do you?
Have you ever been fat? have you ever had a big, grumbly, pig-belly?
No, I don't think so.
And it's not babyfat God damnit, I'm to old for babyfat, I'm not stupid!
When I was a child I was made of bones and skin, I had like....non babyfat at all!
But then things happened, when I started to grow up. And I started to eat, and eat, and eat a lot.
I went fat, I wasn't born like this.
Okay, i can admit, I've lost like....two kilos since then, and I've grown 12½ centimeters.
But that does not make me skinny, or sexy, or beautiful.
No, that "babyfat" makes me cute.
So hello sunshine, you're fat, but cute.
Uh *gasp*, I've got to do something...
I want to go outside for a nice workout,
but I've got 37,5 in bodytemperature, so I don't know about that.
..Can you acctuly die of exercise? Or fever?
I hope not......
*fevercough*
Got to go, I'm throwing up blood now again, jikes maaan
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